Filmmaker Anurag Kashyap regrets not spending enough time with his daughter Aaliyah, when she was growing up. He even told Film Companion that because she would often visit him on sets and was friends with Ida Ali, she ended up spending more time with filmmaker Imtiaz Ali, Ida’s father, than him. Anurag and his ex-wife Aarti Bajaj had Aaliyah in 2001. She is now engaged to Shaun Gregoire. (Also read: Anurag Kashyap defends Neeraj Ghaywan amid Made in Heaven controversy)
‘I ignored a lot of things’
Anurag told Film Companion, “I’m very scared of losing loved ones. I’ve realised after a long time in the sense that in my process of pursuing this, (doing) one film after another, that so-called passion with which I actually enjoy making movies, I left a lot of things behind. I ignored a lot of things. Because when it really hit me hard. When my health slipped from my hand, it was so fast. Because I was working, I was doing yoga, I was swimming, I felt invincible. When it slipped out of my hands, tt was like no amount of anything can save you. At that time you feel isolated, you feel alone. And then I realised I have isolated myself, in my pursuit for whatever I was doing. Constantly fighting to make my films my own way, everything.”
‘Too late to apologise’
He added, “But there comes a point where I realise my daughter has suddenly grown up. I see her old pictures and I’m like, ‘Oh my God, I miss this.’ I’m sitting with Aarti and Aaliyah’s friend Ida and Ida’s mom Preeti, and Imtiaz… And they’re all talking, and they have these memories of this holiday and this and that. And I’m sitting there and I’m wondering, ‘Where was I?’ And I realise Imtiaz has spent more time with my daughter than I have. And then it eats you up inside. You don’t even know whether to apologize, because it’s too late to apologise.”
Anurag, however, knows that Aaliyah has forgiven him. He said that making films on low budgets meant working twice as hard, which Aaliyah understood. Regardless, he knows he should have made time for her.
Anurag will be seen next in Haddi with Nawazuddin Siddiqui.